Once upon a time, roz_mcclure did a Shakespeare Balloon Poll.

And once upon another time, I was born a vicious copycat.

So here we are.

roz_mcclure: [note: all science in this is shit. because it is a balloon poll, and therefore about the most important questions of human survival, like, "who would you push out first, the loyal sidekick or the dashing antagonist?" SO THE WAY YOU PLAY IS: you vote for whoever you would throw out of the balloon, not who you want to stay in. Every few days, whoever has the most votes gets pitched over the edge and a new poll is put up with the remaining cast. JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE!]

I was totally thinking about who would win in a fight, Rapunzel or Snow White, and then I realized: THIS SHOULD BE A FAIRY TALES BALLOON POLL.

[Poll #1366231]

I am actually really excited to write hilarious, irreverent, wildly meta, smushy fairy tale fanfiction in smirking manner of Fables. PLZ, LET'S DO THIS! (And I promise not to make it all weird and lame with Snow White and the dude.)

P.S. Check it out, leiascully, you're my title quote again. ;)

It hurts me more than it hurts you, I promise. This is just because I have a couple of new friends who may or may not know that they are welcome to friend my fic journal planetbarcelona for actually consistent updates on my fabulous fannish writing.

A summary of my offerings to xf_pornbattle:

Title: Necklace
Word Count: 614
Rating: hard R
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Mulder/Scully, gold cross
( It's a game he plays with her sometimes, more and more often once he notices what it does to her. )

Title: Silk Secrets
Word Count: 125
Rating: R
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Scully, Mulder's tie
( She's liberated one of Mulder's ties -- that's what she calls it -- because it was an ugly pattern and he wouldn't notice anyway. )

Title: Cancellations
Word Count: 154
Rating: R
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Mulder/Scully, Scully masturbation interrupted
( He knows exactly what she was doing that morning, that morning he was supposed to be away till noon. )

Title: Do Your Thing
Word Count: 188
Rating: R
Spoilers: through "The X-Files: I Want to Believe"
Prompt: Mulder/Scully, unexpected chat
( For years she feels herself slipping into his quests, shrinking smaller and smaller until she could swear his body rests against hers more heavily than it used to. )

Title: Virtual Fuck (by trolliepop & me)
Word Count: 725
Rating: R
Spoilers: none
Prompt: (crossover with The Office US) Langly/Dwight, Bears beat Battlestar Galactica
( It's a cold day in Scranton, the kind that has HP-printer grey settling over everything, when Richard Langly is chasing the bear. )

Title: Thirty-Five Thousand Feet
Word Count: 226
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Mulder/Scully, joining the Mile High Club
( She can feel the rumble of them under her toes -- what Mulder informed her are two CFM-56-3B1s, with a combined takeoff thrust of 40,000 pounds. )

Title: The Curious Assignment of Luck
Word Count: 780
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Mulder/Scully, one lonely night
( He gets wacko sometimes, holed up in the house cutting clippings out of publications Scully would be ashamed to say she'd read. )

Unlocking for porn purposes. Welcome, new friends. Scroll down.

We did yin yoga this morning, or lots of long-holding stretches. Here is how I feel about yin yoga: A++++++++++++++. And my awesome, beautiful-voiced, unbelievably flexible yoga teacher remembered my name. Not "Nina," "Nivair," bitches. And she pronounced it right. And I haven't been in a month and a half because of film class. Basically, my yoga school wins.

Also, I finally have my downloaded seasons of The West Wing on my new hard drive. Season 1 has disappeared without a trace, apparently, so I'll have to reacquire that (darn), but I am watching The West Wing for the first time in months and it is beautiful. The good thing about a show like The West Wing is that it is incredibly high-quality and accurate and full of educational things, so you don't feel like a complete moron for holing yourself up in your apartment for hours on end devouring it. The bad thing about it, however, is that that very same quality makes it impossible to write really good porny fanfiction for the show. And with that in mind, we'll move on to The X-Files. :D

I have always wanted to be part of an EPIC PORN BATTLE ever since I realized that such things existed, and through fireworkfiasco, NOW I AM! Not that it in any way compares to the fireworkfiasco/trolliepop Team of Awesomeness, but you know. So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to toss three (or four, or five :P ) fic recommendations your way, and then pie_is_good (and anyone else who wants a try!), I challenge you. Comment and let's go.

( The NC-17 Mulder/Scully Revue, Part I )