Fairy Tale Balloon Poll: Round One

  • Mar. 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 PM
ninamazing: Black-and-white close up of Cosima from Orphan Black smoking. (heading into faerieland)
(I so was not kidding before. And I thank you for your input! Some people were disqualified for not being from fairy tales, or for me not knowing enough about them, or silly stuff like that. You should play anyway though. It'll be fun.)

[livejournal.com profile] roz_mcclure: [note: all science in this is shit. because it is a balloon poll, and therefore about the most important questions of human survival, like, "who would you push out first, the loyal sidekick or the dashing antagonist?" SO THE WAY YOU PLAY IS: you vote for whoever you would throw out of the balloon, not who you want to stay in. Every few days, whoever has the most votes gets pitched over the edge and a new poll is put up with the remaining cast. JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE!]

At the Aerospace Museum in Fairyland, curious business is afoot.

"This is gorgeous," says Cinderella, placing one light hand on the wicker basket to step herself aboard. "I've never seen a real hot-air balloon before."

"You haven't seen much of anything," her stepmother remarks; next to the woman, Rumpelstiltskin stifles a snort.

"Look at that marvelous detail work," Cinderella continues loudly, running her fingertips over the interior design of the balloon.

"Women," says the Frog Prince bitterly. "So obsessed with aesthetics. 'Oh, has he got the right shoes?' 'Oh, is this a Calvin Klein?' 'Oh, was he cute or were his teeth all weird?' Superficial bints, the lot of you."

"All it takes is a bit of effort," Prince Charming points out. "I could show you how to use my hair gel. It's really quite —"

"One more word and I'll set your precious hair on fire," the Frog Prince retorts.

"Uh, guys?" says the Beast, putting out one timid and well-experienced hand in attempt to halt the conflict. It's not easy to turn a blind eye to his hairy bulk, but somehow the two princes manage.

"You'll set my hair on fire, huh, slime guy?" sneers Charming. "How?"

"PROPANE!" Baba Yaga cackles, gleefully, and lights the burners. The balloon shakes, drifts; the ropes sway and slip out of their holdings; and before anybody has time to take action the entire company finds itself floating into the open sky. Little Red Riding Hood screams; Hansel and Gretel clutch each other; the Beast looks uncomfortable. Scheherezade eyes them all with a hefty dose of disdainful curiosity.

"Well, this is unpleasantly crowded," says the Princess of the Pea, and wrinkles her peerless nose.

"Sweetie, you ain't kiddin'," Rumpelstiltskin tells her. "Check the altimeter."

They all whirl to face the small device, most of which is currently covered by one snoring Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella gently lifts the dozing princess's arm, and the company gasps. They have reached 6,000 feet, but are not holding steady — in fact, they are falling fast.

[Poll #1369914]

(Yes, dudes. IT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU! Voting closes in 24 hours.)

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We celebrate peace. Yet we pay no attention to the ways of curing aggression in human beings. And when one sees in psychoanalysis hostility disappearing as people conquer their fears, one wonders if the cure is not there.
The Diary of Anaïs Nin; August, 1945

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